Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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