you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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