Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
