and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
