Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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