Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
