Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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