I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
