Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
