I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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