pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor