think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.