she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me