she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.