Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
