He is an equal opportunity slut.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
