paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
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he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
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I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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