This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Panties = found
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