I think I died a long time ago.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She just used a chaser for red wine.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
