community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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