Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
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I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize