tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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