it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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