I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
