so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
