Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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