He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
this will be a night to untag.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
