Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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