yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
