I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
