Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
