maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
