Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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