i will never coherently bang her
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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