Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
