I feel great
I just peed on a car
People with herpes should wear stickers.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
