Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
