Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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