Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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