Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
