at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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