Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
