Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize