Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
