I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
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I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
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Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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