Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(979): View more from Texas

so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.

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(979): so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together. http://tfl.nu/dxc5

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(858): View more from California

She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.

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(858): She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause. http://tfl.nu/nsj4

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(203): View more from Connecticut

trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me

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(203): trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me http://tfl.nu/u42j

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(954): View more from Florida

I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa

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(954): I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa http://tfl.nu/4mlw

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(571): View more from Virginia

She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.

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(571): She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that. http://tfl.nu/q72a

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(585): View more from New York

bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning

(1-585): View more from New York

oh god.. jail?

(585): View more from New York

better, on the catwalk of the auditorium

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(585): bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning (1-585): oh god.. jail? (585): better, on the catwalk of the auditorium http://tfl.nu/ulvj

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(219): View more from Indiana

talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?

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(219): talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high? http://tfl.nu/47rp

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(703): View more from Virginia

I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.

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(703): I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history. http://tfl.nu/nchu

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.

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(978): So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website. http://tfl.nu/9e82

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(850): View more from Florida

Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model

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(850): Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model http://tfl.nu/o9d2

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(845): View more from New York

Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit

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(845): Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit http://tfl.nu/mhw5

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(404): View more from Georgia

When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?

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(404): When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012? http://tfl.nu/cat9

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(203): View more from Connecticut

How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.

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(203): How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things. http://tfl.nu/sk0c

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(512): View more from Texas

The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning

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(512): The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning http://tfl.nu/lha0

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(360): View more from Washington

it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me

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(360): it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me http://tfl.nu/wv06

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