I wish I only lived at night.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.