can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
