Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
