I saw his package. It spoke to me.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
