Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
