i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
