Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just blew my weed a kiss
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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