Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
