...so i touched it.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
