She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Pants are for mortals
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
