You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
