How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
