Have you finally orgasmed yet?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
