I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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