My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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