If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
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Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
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