If i come over, it means nothing
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
