You can't motorboat a personality
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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