Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
