Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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