I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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